The current global economy is on shaky ground. European nations are looking for bailout money; the U.S. is constantly battling a rising debt and inflation/deflation issues; “job security” is a thing of the past, as competition increases and benefits are dropped, and guaranteed pension plans are going the way of the dinosaur (NOT big and awesome…extinct). So where can one find a steady income and extra spending money? It’s obvious: Piracy.
Now, let’s sort something out first. I’m not talking about stealing music or movies or identities with the internet. I think technology is great, but only if it’s used for very positive things. I’m talking about kicking it old school and becoming a proper, sea faring pirate. Let’s take a look at the benefits of piracy, shall we?
PROS:
1) You make your own hours. And let’s face it, a flexible schedule is a “must have” in any entrepreneurial venture. If you don’t feel like a good ol’ pirating one day, just hang out and drink some rum.
2) You get to drink rum. Drinking at work is usually frowned upon. If you’re a pirate, it’s kind of expected. Now, I promote moderation in your rum intake, because you want to be at your best, whilst looting and pillaging. However, rum is a versatile drink and can take numerous mixers, which means that it is welcome at all non-pirating hours, 365 days a year. Win-win-win.
3) Sponsorships. Captain Morgan made a killing off of selling out, and why shouldn’t you? Piracy is not necessarily something that you want to do long term and although some people have done so in the past, being a pirate is definitely not a get rich quick scheme. It takes time to build a reputation, especially if you want to cash in on the advertising money. Tropicana and Coca Cola have an image to uphold, so keep that in mind when you are working.
4) Pirate phrases are fun. As a pirate, you’ll be able to use such classic pirate lingo like, “Ahoy there,” “Yar har har” and “Where be my doubloons?” “Scallywags” is also a fun word, but try to stay up to date with the Politically Correct, as I’m not sure if it offends anyone in particular these days.
5) Problem Solving/Challenges/Creativity. Example: You’re trying out your new piracy venture in the Bay of Fundy (in Eastern Canada) and uh oh, it’s time for the tidal bore. All of a sudden, the currents change and your ship is now going in the opposite direction than you expected. What do you do? Plan ahead. Know your tides. Maybe don’t be a pirate in a bay. There are lots of things that you have to know, so be prepared. If you time it right, you can ride the tidal bore and find your victims/merchant vendors unawares. Bay Piracy will probably have that effect on people anyway, because most pirates stick to the open seas. But that’s okay, because it’s important to find a niche market.
6) Exclusive Club Membership. Be counted among a small list of famous pirates, such as Blackbeard, Long John Silver and Barry Bonds (before the Giants and the steroids…?)
Now for the downside. I really hate this part of the posts. Just when I get into an idea, I have to go and put a wrench in the, um, spoke of the, er,…pirate ship. Good. Moving on!
Cons:
1) Networking is Difficult. Any type of business, these days, relies on building strong relationships for repeat customers, joint ventures, and referral business. Piracy is pretty much opposed to all of that. Living like a pirate will tend to shrink your social circle (because they will fear you) and referral business is non-existent. (“Hey Bill, have you had all your stuff taken by Captain (Insert Your Cool Pirate Name) recently? Soooooo good!”)
2) Big Expectations. The popularity of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies is a definite detriment to living like a pirate in modern times. People expect a lot out of their pirates: big personalities, stunts, clever catch phrases and more. To disappoint on any of these levels is to find yourself in a position of weakness. Sure you can try to intimidate with violence, but that is a slippery slope. First of all, you want to work smart, not hard. Plus, you’re likely to find a lot of people that will fight better than you, so why instigate? Best to model the fantasy pirates and charm your way into people’s hearts (and treasures!)
3) Finding A Loyal Crew Is Difficult. This one you can blame on the economy. People change careers 5 or 6 times at least, so loyalty is very difficult. You’ll have to spend some time working on payment plans and bonuses that are beneficial to everyone. Try to focus on the long term benefits and the short term bonuses. People want to make extra money as soon as possible, so be prepared for that initial voyage, matey.
4) Legal/moral issues. But really, when aren’t there any?
Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011-2012